I do not know what to say, or what to do. I do not know what I want, or where to go. I really have only a few people who are close friends, I think. I do not know. I do not know what people think of me. Do I complain too much? Am I annoying? Do people even want to be my friend? What is a friend?

How do I know what a friend is? Is it someone you talk to everyday? Is it someone who loves you, or someone who just likes you? How do I know? If I call a person who I think is a friend, do they think the same way? Do friends call each other all the time? When is all the time?

If friends are suppose to call each other, how come noone calls me? How come I have to be the one to call all the time? Why can’t someone call me? Even if someone did call me, what do I say? If I called people what would I say? How do I know what to say ever?

I think I might be going insane, all of these questions I ask myself all the time, yet I have not real answer. What do I do? I sure wish I knew.

What about love? What is love? Is it caring about someone? Is there different types of love? I think so. There is a love where you care about a person, and another where you love as in a romantic caring type of love.

Another thing I have wondered is, who will I fall in love with? Is this girl going to be someone I already know, or someone I will meet later on? What is in my future? Will I have kids? Will I live In Florida, North Carolina, or even in the Americas?

Man, I am getting to far ahead of myself. I have never even had a girlfriend. I do not think girls like me anyway. I mean, how do I know? I wish I could read their minds. But do I even want to start dating anyway? I really do not think I’m ready. I guess I will have to pray to Jehovah about this, and about everything else.

I am only 19 years old. It is not like I have to find someone, right? Even though, I would like to find someone. I wish I could go into more personal stuff, but I would rather not do that on the internet. I really want to get some things out of my system though. Even though I do not even know what it is, sometimes.

Ok, well, I will start posting up beautiful pictures of different things on my next post. This is to make things more interesting. I may not put up pictures, but movies, sence I do not have a digital camera, just a digital video camera.

-Joshua